Still, many couples not only stay together but go on to have a happier, healthier marriage after the affair. As a marriage counselor for the past 40 years, I have seen many couples recover trust in their relationship and even get to a point of thriving like never before. Research by Shirley Glass , who has explored the dynamics of the aftermath of cheating, show clearly that surviving an affair is very possible for couples who seek the right help and are committed to the healing process. Below are my 21 most important questions to consider as you and your spouse work on recovering from an affair. Cheating is often a mere symptom of the bigger issues. Take some time to read through all 21 questions and consider how willing you are to explore what it takes to heal. Yes, if the betraying spouse expresses remorse and seeks help to understand what led to the affair and break the marital vow.
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So the question for the therapist is often “how long DO we have to talk Until that happens, those who have been betrayed will find that they cannot let go of the questions and worries. The one who had the affair should be open and honest. After that, find ways to limit the conversation to much smaller amounts of time. After an affair, in order to move forward, couples needs to come to an She hypothesized: A couple is more likely to stay married after an affair when they Tell them you're committed to honestly answering their questions and . Last night I cried as I watched a video message I sat and made at am on my iPad.
People naturally try to understand the events of their life. Until we are able to make sense of these events, a part of us continues trying to solve the mystery. Apart from understanding what has happened, there is no way for the betrayed spouse to assess the level of damage and the probability of future success.
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Last week, I met with several new couples who are in the beginning stages of recovering from an affair. Affairs are so hard on couples to work through, but not impossible. The answer, of course, is different for each situation and couple but generally there are some guidelines:. Many therapists agree that one of the hardest parts of the affair is the secret that occurred between the two who had the affair and from the spouse. In order to heal that damage, the secret must be revealed.